open letters

To: Most of the boys in my house



I'm sorry, but no matter how many gadgets you have/bring home/hope to own, you will never be James Bond.

love,

your wife and/or mother





Dear Mash,

I adore your soda - especially the pomegranate blueberry flavor. Why so expensive?



yrs,

bb







Attention Weather Gods:

We're ready. Please send Spring.



With all due respect,

blackbird








K Dear,

You make the tastiest wontons EVER.
IN THE WORLD.





xxoo,

bb


Dear J Crew:

You've wormed your way back into my good graces. I've purchased some staples for my new wardrobe from your store (though your sales associates don't impress me) and I'm considering a couple of pairs of lightweight pants for the coming warm weather.
Frankly, though, your April catalog cover ticks me off a little.



There is no doubt that the model is beautiful, but I find myself aggravated by the Slumdog Millionaire reference as well as her weight (and J Crew often features models with more realistic bodies) and the fact that I can't tell if she's wearing a shirt.
Call me prudish (though I tend not to be) but her emaciated frame - blouseless, causes me to rant. A little.

I'm done now,

bb



Dear Rachel Ray,

I've been thinking: what's up with the voice? With all the work you're getting right now, maybe you should have a professional check it out?

Really, I have your best intentions at heart -

bb




To: Master Foods/Mars
From: bb
RE: Twix

Thank you.

truth and comedy

1. I lift from Ingrid ALL THE TIME. Go. Read Ingrid. She inspires me every weekend (which is the only time I have to read her.)

2. I read about Twitter and Facebook every day. They are in the NEWS every DAY. I'd like to take this time to apologize to the people who follow me in those places. I no longer have time to be involved with either of those sites. Twitter is fun though - I'll probably revisit Twitter while I'm at Blogher. Facebook? Not so much. Facebook, IMO, is the poor mans blogging. One must be inspired to spit it all out over here. It takes some effort.

3. What?

4. We had a little thunderstorm last night.

5. Sometimes you need a lot of tape on your fingers to play drums.




It's Monday.

what I'm doing, instead of writing posts

Took my Jeep for an oil change this morning. A free oil change, you know, because I lease the Jeep and there are all kinds of incentives if you lease...well, when you leased, apparently there are no more leases. My free oil change was a few hundred dollars. Scheduled maintenance, something about changing the fluid in the differential, rotating the tires (one was making a noise too) - I don't know. I do usually know a bit about cars and I was vaguely aware of the notion that it might be wise to maintain the differential as we plan on taking the Jeep on to the beach this summer and I'd like to not worry about the transmission. I did, however do a phone consult with K as I'm sure having these things done at a dealership is a terrible rip-off and wanted his opinion. They had wanted me to do the 12,000 mile service (hundreds more) but there are only 9000 miles on the truck and I was unmoved.

K and I went, after I got back, to return the telephone. We spent an awfully long time trying to choose another one and ended up with nothing. Money saved and the old phone is back in use.

The supermarket was next. I was actually pretty excited about the supermarket as they have scanners that one picks up at the beginning of one's trip...one scans each item, packs the groceries into bags there in the aisle - all the while receiving ads and reminders and seeing the total number of goods in the cart. We ordered deli things with another computer and when they were ready a notice came up on my scanner so I could go pick them up. It was all very futuristic and took a while to get the rhythm of it: the scanning and packing and shopping. We thought it seemed to take longer to do it all this way - but then, there is no time spent ringing up and the groceries are packed so the tail end is much faster.

Unpacking, laundry, clean-up, lunch. K worked on tax papers and I did paperwork for Art School.
I love the Art School, truly I do - but, as you may have guessed from the amount of time it took for them to notify us that they had accepted Middle, they aren't much good on the administrative side of things. They lost some of Middle's paperwork, people "went on vacation" when they were supposed to have been in touch with us and the acceptance letter was lost due to "a glitch in the mail." So, I wasn't surprised when the health form necessary for Middle to complete before he can register was missing from his acceptance packet.

Tonight, K and a couple of the boys are going to watch the new Bond movie and Youngest and I are watching Serendipity.
Chicken stir fry.
Maybe some vacuuming.

Survivor, the ridiculousness

Listen here: I'm not recapping a recap show. Sure, there was "never-before seen footage" and people's fires went out and there was debate regarding fat vs muscle, but I'm not recapping it. Mom brought over some tasty pork and rice and beans and I drank lots of wine.

We did our first scooter ride to the station this week - 33 degrees is COLD, but the return trip, 53, was almost comfortable.

In the meantime, JB provided me with an excellent site for inexpensive terrific looking ballet flats. Problem solved! But not this month as: A- they aren't available yet and: 2. I bought an absolutely over-the-top scarf at a sample sale and cannot spend any more money right now.

In other news -
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie
The Recipe:

First of all - purchase or make a chocolate graham cracker pie crust. I suppose a regular graham cracker crust would work as well, but a chocolate one sort of kicks this all over the edge - and you WANT to be in pain after you eat a piece of this.
So.
1 chocolate graham cracker crust
Then, for the chocolate fudge filling:
4 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 heavy cream
1 tablespoon light corn syrup
For the peanut butter filling:
1 1/2 cups smooth peanut butter (if you have chunky you can use it)
1 1/2 cups confectioners sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Place the chocolate into a small bowl. In a saucepan, bring cream and corn syrup to a boil over medium heat. Pour over chocolate and let stand to soften. Whisk until smooth. Let cool.

Transfer 1/4 cup of the chocolate mixture to a small plastic bag and set aside. Sperad the remaining chocolate mixture onto the crust. Freeze or refrigerate until firm - 15 to 30 minutes.

Beat peanut butter, confectioners sugar, cream and vanilla in a medium bowl, on low, until smooth. Increase speed of mixer to high and beat until fluffy. Spread on chilled chocolate layer and smooth the top.

Squeeze chocolate in the plastic bag into one corner of the bag and twist (ie. make a wee pastry bag). Snip corner off bag and make a design with chocolate on peanut butter.

Chill pie for at least 2 hours. Remove from refrigerator about 30 minutes before serving - to serve chilled but not cold.

Still more news...

I had a very delicious lunch with my work friends yesterday, I'm having lunch with a former co-worker next week and am meeting a blogger for lunch next month. Lunches all around!
My co-worker lunch is always in one of the conference rooms and, I have to say, it is the most welcome relief from staring at my computer all morning - not that they aren't all good company! They are ALL good company! (Can you tell they read this?) I should report, however, that yesterday, there was some discussion at the table regarding height. I, and several around me, felt that I could not possibly be the shortest among us. Conversation ensued. Finally, against my better judgement, I agreed to stand back to back (as one does) and be measured against the lovely E - whom I was SURE was smaller than me. (And, in truth, this whole height thing seems to dog the lovely E, whereas I don't really CARE.) Much to my surprise, and even without SHOES, it turned out that E is taller than I am.
Lesson learned.
I'm SHORT.

My weekend, you ask...well, I'll be taking the car for an oil change and then I'll be returning that phone.
And there is one piece of chocolate peanut butter pie in the fridge.

good news and bad news and random

The good news, in my opinion, is that, apparently, I'm going to do this week's posts in photos.
The bad news? This post will cover Wednesday AND Thursday. (Though I will do a Survivor recap, which is on on WEDNESDAY but which I will post on FRIDAY. Are you following me here?)

Here's the random:

I bought a pair of beautiful black ballet flats when? last year? Well, they came with a special advisory which stated that I might not want to wear them outdoors. Sheesh, I thought - it's not like I GO outside a whole lot - I'll just keep them. Lovely, delicate...they are already showing wear and will not survive the spring and summer at work and will need to be replaced. Have I mentioned I'm not sure about wearing sandals to an office? I'm not. Some options:



Nice. Slightly boring.



Same shoes. Not black. Must they be black? Couldn't one make a NEW NEUTRAL?



Too shiny? Too strange in the toe area? Flimsy sole? Too many questions.



The new phone? TERRIBLE. BEING RETURNED.



Will you look at the size of this sandwich. Youngest requested cheese steaks which amazes me as he doesn't like cheese and doesn't eat steak - but there you are.
THEN we had my mom over for her birthday. We had a little cheese board first -



followed by fried chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. FOLLOWED BY chocolate peanut butter pie the likes of which could lay you flat.



It was best eaten with a big glass of milk.




We watched us some Antiques Roadshow too. We love to watch and yell at the screen when we hear how much things are worth. This particular dresser was worth 20 to 30 thousand dollars. SOLD we yelled.



I completed the BIG logic puzzle AND the little logic puzzle AND the crossword puzzle in the newspaper yesterday. This is a feat. My pal, and fellow assistant, JRS is holding the photographic evidence for me.

Middle has been working physics equations on the whiteboard over his bed. He is a genius too.



This problem involved dropping a feather and a hammer on the moon and he worked it out for FUN.



We need some physics on the Wheat Thin front as well. THEY'VE MADE THE HOLES BIGGER.

A friend invited me to "go walking" with her yesterday at lunch time. This is where I found myself...



a wee, tiny, three room house in between tall buildings.



It was full of cheap antiques. It was hidden. It was amazing.



Milk glass and dishes and pictures and mirrors and a basket of sewing notions that would have made Wendy happy.



I tried to get a shot of this picture - alas, it's blurry. Suffice to say that it was a priceless poem about all the things our mothers give us and THEN they die and leave us alone. I should have noted how much it was as it was PRICELESS.

Antiques aren't for me, though. I'd like a set of these:



$48 Muji cardboard folding speakers. For my iPod, for the kitchen, for my office. For Mother's Day?

I'm watching House. He's talking on his cell phone in front of someone else and says: this thing gets better reception when you're not here. House is a bit of a genius too.

two years ago

I've got nothing.
Let's look at what I had two years ago.

I love the light in this picture. It was the party we made for my mom's birthday and there was snow outside.



I would still LOVE a pair of Koos shoes.



Know anyone in Amsterdam who can send me a pair?



Lovely. A mystery as I have no idea where I lifted it from.



Apparently I enjoy looking at shoes in March. Every year.
AND, I clean out the medicine cabinet...



I've done both this past week.

Would I have fashion critique for Ann Hathaway this year?



Probably.



Why did I upload photos of strollers?
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM...and, also, because two years ago, I cleaned and disassembled my babies stroller and stored it away. I was looking for a picture of it.
This Spring I am delighted to be attending a baby shower for my cousin at which I hope to gaze upon lots of good baby loot.
You remember her, don't you?
Their baby is due in May and I'm off to celebrate in a couple of weeks.

What did I write about two years ago? Survivor and school and my favorite song.

enamored

A few things I'm presently fond of:




These aren't easy on the teeth, and don't tell me they aren't "healthy" - I don't want to know. They are perfect when one discovers one should have eaten a little something when taking their decongestant on the way to work. I am aware of the fact that the wrapper makes an unfortunate crinkling noise on the train and endeavor to open it as quickly as possible.



A silly thing, really, but our telephone drove me crazy and I bought a new one. The old one rattled, had an odd ring tone, had been dropped countless times rendering its performance wonky and had a layer of filth on it unreachable with toothpicks and cotton swabs (obsessive much?). Youngest chose this one.



I am sure these aren't especially "green", but I am completely addicted to them. I've always used rags with spray or spritz chemicals and, somehow, this has always made cleaning more of a production. These pop-up wipe things are so handy I find myself reaching for them all the time, making it much easier to do touch-ups in the bathroom or kitchen. Before you think too badly of me for purchasing them I will tell you that I will probably not have an opportunity to replace them for a year or so.



As my sweet-tooth continues to wane I'm finding the school-lunch sized bags of these chips are the perfect snack...followed by -



Riiiicollllllllllaaaaaa!
Chewy, licorice-y!
Breath mints?
Yeah, I don't get that part either. But they're good.

Finally:



YOU suggested. I listened.
I LOVE THE STUFF.

Thanks!

Wednesday or, perhaps Thursday

Who linked here last week? Wednesday, I think...my numbers skyrocketed.

The kitchen floor is clean too. Just thought I'd let you know.

for my friends at work

Hi new crowd!
How funny are you - asking me about "K" in the hallways?! Funny!
I hope you are all having a great weekend- full of movies and drinks dates with friends and gallery visits and dinners out and shopping with your boyfriend...how different our lives are!
Me?
What am I doing?
Well, let's see - as yesterday was my mom's birthday (Hi Mom! Sorry I didn't call! Sick as a DOG! Barely made it through my work day!) we are going to be making her some dinner on Sunday. It's going to be fried chicken (K will make that) and we'll have chocolate peanut butter pie (my half of the effort).
But let's not get ahead of ourselves...there's lots of exciting stuff to do before dinner on Sunday!
(cue dreamy music and soft focus)
The dog has been under the weather, you see, and we are going to rent one of those carpet cleaning machines and do the living room rug! (I believe I mentioned this to you, co-workers, when you were kind enough to enquire about my weekend plans.) K will move the furniture and I'll vacuum and then shampoo. If I can bear to touch it, I'll wash the dog's bed too.
I need to re-do the mantle-scape - that's JUST LIKE visiting a gallery, right? I'm noticing that Youngest's snow pants are still hanging over the fireplace - giving the room a ski-lodge feel, decoratively speaking.
I'll probably have some laundry running during all this. (Note to regular readers: everyone pitched in and did their own laundry while I was sick! I know how proud you'll all be.)
I am in desperate need of socks and underwear and K threw out two shirts this week (don't frown, charities don't like shirts with the elbows torn/sewn/torn again) - am thinking of heading out to see if I can dig up any replacements and hoping Youngest will agree to join me. Quality time with the kids!

Okay - enough about my fascinating weekend plans.
I'm sitting here looking at the dust and dog hair!
Oh! I nearly forgot! We MIGHT, K and I, take in a movie - IN THE THEATER!

I'll keep you posted.

xo

bb

friday...

..at last.
Another of us has fallen to the evil virus. It's Middle's turn. He is silent but mentioned that his neck has been quite painful - for three days. I was pretty sure it was his lymph nodes but wanted the doctor to have a look. Of course he has to ride it out - just like the rest of us. Doesn't matter. We laughed until we cried, Middle and me, before the doctor walked in, over a photo in a landscape magazine that I cannot begin to describe. I love laughing with him.

The trick, I see now, to victory over the cough that has kept us awake for the past four nights is NOT suppression. My potent cough pills (I'm allergic to codeine and this narrows the field of medication considerably) were useless against it - with its tight dryness and tearing pain.
Suddenly, last night at 2:00, I had a brainstorm and ransacked Youngest's room for the nebulizer and mask and gave myself a treatment and finally slept. Maybe now I'll have a handle on it.

In unrelated news: I heard this while waiting for K's train -

Anniversary: One Fine Day*

Who would sit through a plot as preposterous as ours,
married after years apart? Chance meetings may work
early in stories, but at operas, darling, in Texas?
A bachelor pilot, I fled Laredo for the weekend,
stopping at the opera from boredom, music I least expected.
Of all the zoos and honky-tonks south of Dallas,
who would believe I would find you there on the stairs,

Madame Butterfly about to start? When you moved
four years before, I lost all hope of dying happy,
dogfighting my way through pilot training, reckless,
in terror only when I saw the man beside you.
I had pictured him rich and splendid in my mind
a thousand times, thinking you married with babies
somewhere in Tahiti, Spain, the south of France.

When I saw the lucky devil I hated—only your date,
but I didn't know—he stopped gloating, watching you wave,
turned old and bitter like the crone in Shangri La.
Destiny happens only in plays and cheap movies—
but here, here on my desk is your photo, decades later,
and I hear sounds from another room of our house,
and when I rise amazed and follow, you are there.

It's a lovely poem, isn't it?

It's Friday. That's lovely too.










*by Walt McDonald

I'm all over the place

Did you notice they've made the holes in saltines bigger?



Look! You can see my laptop through them.

Spring is, uh, springing in Tuvalu.



The markets have forsythia and hyacinth and the air feels warm and K is nearly done with his Spring Project. Youngest IM'd me today to tell me it was beautiful out.

I'm itching to wear spring clothes -





Do you think it's odd that I am drawn to the tags inside some of my clothing as much as I like the outfits themselves?



My leggings.



Pants.



A dress.

You know what's really good?





Potato leek gratin and some big fat steaks.

Told you.
I'm all over the place.

sick day = All My Children and dozens of emails and phone calls

So, crippled by The Sore Throat From Hell, I decided to take my first-ever sick day.
My plan?
Drive the boys to school.
Go back to bed.
Sleep until noon.
Take a shower.
Watch All My Children.
Take a nap.
Have a piece of spinach pie.
Go back to bed.

- Good plan, right? WELL. How, in 6 months, did I forget that the DAMN phone rings all the time at my house?
It started off well enough. I hobbled out to the car in my yoga pants and tee shirt and drove the boys to school with my head feeling like a cinder block. (Do my Australians know what a cinder block is? ) and limped back home. And I did manage to sleep. For a while.
But then the DAMN phone started ringing: K's tapes are ready. K's tapes are ready and they don't know where to ship them. Youngest's prescription is at the pharmacy. Youngest's prescription IS AT THE PHARMACY. (They called twice.) Esquire Staff (The magazine? The whole staff of the magazine?). Then, my personal favorite: the company that calls to remind you that the warranty on the car you haven't owned for a year is expiring. BTW, that last call was the only one I answered.
In between not answering the phone and napping I checked my email and tried to ignore how messy my house was.
Here's an example of the kind of email I receive a dozen of each day -
Hi Editor
The first day of spring is this Friday, March 20, and ProQuo has a great idea to kick off your spring cleaning activities with the family – get rid of all that unwanted junk mail clogging up your mailbox.

ProQuo (www.proquo.com) is an easy to use, one-stop Web site that helps stop up to 90% of your unwanted junk mail with just a few clicks of a button. By logging into ProQuo, you can take control of who gets access to your personal information, and choose which catalogs, credit cards and other offers you would like to receive, dramatically cutting down wasted solicitations and important mail clumped in with offers that you don’t want.

Not a bad idea ProQuo people, what about the unwanted emails I receive tons of each day?

AMC time rolled around pretty quickly. What's going on in Pine Valley?
Well, Kendall is out of her coma and separated from Zach, Frankie is going to Iraq (he's BEEN going for six months), there are still no ugly people in Pine Valley, Greenlee seems to be dead BUT, apparently, they haven't found her body. Kendall and Ryan go to identify a body and base their identification on seeing Greenlee's ring in a zip bag next to the body! I was yelling (and coughing) at the television! One CANNOT base a corpse ID on a ring! Oy.
Obviously this means that Greenlee is alive somewhere and has lost or sold her ring. Seesh.

I took another little nap after the exhaustion of watching AMC proved too much, took a shower and started to try feel human.

In other news: I'm anxious to wear some Spring clothes. And I need a pair of cream colored footless tights - or leggings, OR SOMETHING comparable to complete my Spring Look.
I think I'll put some woolens away this weekend.
Thrilling, isn't it?

Oh! Hey! Listen: (I'm using lots of colons today) Survivor isn't on this week and there are commercials on daytime tv for "affordable cremation."

Let's take a little walk through the Urban Dictionary, shall we?

I puffy-heart love the Urban Dictionary.
Of course, I can't walk around dropping Urban Dictionary bombs, as it were, or my children would die of embarrassment. But, as I lay here with my throat burning with PAIN, I can amuse myself with some of the definitions which I have cut and pasted and made into photos on my flickr photostream cause that's HOW I ROLL. (See? Groovy already.)



My "bagside" is on the left. I carry a crossbody bag - "crossbody" being another important term I learned from a different reference site: Zappos.



The opposite of Skinny Jeans!



It's one thing when this happens in the privacy of your own home...when it happens in the office? Not good.



While I can testify to having Mall Feet, I can also vouch for another ailment: Shopper's Kvetch. SK is when you've spent too much time and money at the mall and nothing seems right anymore. Coupled with various minor physical complaints it spells the end of a shopping trip.



...Not that I would KNOW from experience...or anything.



I've known some coin wankers in my day.



And I've known some of these too...



I need to fly somewhere so I can drop that one into conversation.

Sorry Urban Dictionary contributors, my kids have been saying this one for YEARS -



Allrightallrightallrightallright - I don't wanna be wastin yo minutes...




You can also read me here today...