what's up in Tuvalu

I've spent the week
posting without saying much, haven't I?
Here's what we've been up to:

Oldest - uh...I don't know, actually. Haven't seen him much. He mentioned that he lost his keys and all his sentimental key fob thingys last weekend on a friend's boat (I know!) and is hanging out this weekend at a friend's house east of here.

Middle -




















did a shoot at my office! Thats him checking the lighting. Everyone was smitten - and how could they not be? One co-worker actually thought that he was a professional photographer. Or he was kissing up to me, but he's more important than I am so I sort of don't think so. Anyway, that would be Middle in the photo. In Conference Room B. On the table. Checking the lighting.

Youngest - uh, well...Youngest is about to wrap up his freshman year. He's got some serious final exams ahead of him in the next couple of weeks but he is, by far, our best student so he's the only person concerned about it. Happy to be splitting his time between video games and parkour so I'm figuring it's a nice mix.

K has been either very very busy at work or spending time getting the lay of the land. At home he's been working in the yard, scooting around town and doing some barbecuing. K doesn't like to spend weekends sitting around, so he keeps busy.

And me? I brought my mom for her second cataract surgery this week - she now has two bright blue sparkly eyes and rewarded me with the best liverwurst sandwich ON THE PLANET. I had a small skirmish with a new internet shoe company (all went right in the end) and I'm headed in to town this morning for a work event.
In the past week I've had a chance to speak to Poppy and Susie and I am getting very excited about the month of July.

Right now, I'm sipping coffee in my bed next to K who has to create a promotional reel for his company this weekend.

So that, my friends, should have you up to speed on each of us.
I'm off to write my post for Beauty Hacks. (Carcinogen-free nail polish? You KNOW you want to know...it goes live on Tuesday.)

notes from the Friday afternoon commute

My office closes early on Friday afternoons in the summer.
It's an old-school policy designed, I'm sure, to allow employees to beat the traffic to their summer homes. My summer and winter home are one-in-the-same so I ran some errands and headed to the train at 2:00.
And what did I see at the station at that hour?
Luggage.









(An awful lot of Vera Bradley, don't you think?)





The lady in blue had sterling silver hair.



This little fellow was going to a baseball game with his grandmother.



This tiny girl needed a map.

This man



did not appear nearly as sinister in real life.



This woman was stunningly beautiful.



There were some backpackers around too.

So - there we all were. Waiting.



Hundreds of people, with more streaming in at every glance, waiting.



Everyone stands near the big board and watches for the sign to change - for the track to be assigned...



(meanwhile, some of us take furtive photos of glorious taffeta skirts)

and then, all at once,



the trains are announced and the giant crowd moves in groups to the exits - to the platforms to board the trains.



It's a blur of rushed movement, and the weekend has nearly started.

random

I'm sure it looks just this good too.

Oh, to have that kind of time...and such a steady hand. And a cassette tape.

It took me three days to make my Moo business cards. Don't ask - enjoy these instead.

Have I told you how much I like this site? I like this site.

I'd eat it.

I find this utterly fascinating.

Oh! OH!

Here's a dandy collection of posters for you.

That's it then. They've killed the whole bacon/internet thing.

Last Day Dream. Lovely and sad.

I luff this.


That's all.

five things in my bag right now - no, wait...SIX

1. My camera.



You're welcome.
Ya know, next to my photos, on Flickr, it used to say: taken with a Leica C-Lux. It doesn't anymore and Flickr has all kinds of new "aps" that I need to check out. You know what ELSE I need to do on Flickr? MAKE MY DAMN MOO CARDS FOR BLOGHER. I've started five or six times and something has occurred each time to undo the process. I WAS going to spend a lot of money and have GORGEOUS business cards letterpress printed by an old blind woman in Seattle or SOMETHING but I'm cheaping out. The cost of 250 letterpress cards is nothing to sneeze at.

And speaking of sneezing:



2. Simply Saline nasal mist. I can't even TELL you how many years I've spent medicated, unmedicated, addicted to Afrin, living through allergy hell. Well, last year I discovered a better road. I use this fine saline mist in my nose in the morning and the evening and it has worked wonders. I still get itchy eyes but this is a much more reasonable way, it seems, to handle my allergies. But, if you like this stuff, you might want to get a hold of some of this stuff too -



3. Ayr Saline Nasal Gel. This stuff is just the loveliest stuff you will ever put up your nose. With soothing aloe.
(I think I've talked enough about my nose now.)




4. Do you know how many years I used Johnson's baby products? No, of course you don't. All my years, I reckon. I even have a bottle of baby wash stuff in my shower. But now Johnson's makes a grown-up line (but they are stupid about it because it's next to the baby stuff in my market) and I think I like it.




5. I picked up this lip gloss at the supermarket because friends of mine at work use this tube-style lip gloss and I became infatuated with the idea of it. I'm liking it. It's not too shiny, it doesn't smell funny and it stays on for a long time.



6. Because you never know when you might be hiking. Barefoot.

paper towels, another nearly wordless post

in which I pretty much decide that I can use my blog in exactly the same way I used Twitter

How many characters was that?

update

Maira Kalman blogs here on the last Friday of the month or somesuch.
I thought you'd want to know.

I adore her.

no words

my feet

Well, I did a tremendously stupid thing today (don't worry - not professionally). I wore a pair of absolutely stunning Ralph Lauren shoes that I have owned since before I was married. I dug them out of the closet and thought: oh! I've forgotten about these. AND THEN I FOUND OUT WHY.
They rip my feet to shreds.
I took them off and walked from the station to my house BAREFOOT and have either huge blisters or burns on the balls of my feet now.
Crippled myself, I have.

grown-up shoes

I'm small.
I think all of my readers, my real-life friends and my co-workers and family realize this.
I've written about it - I specifically remember before I went to Blogher a couple of years ago, writing a post about what fellow bloggers should expect when they met me and one of the top things was to not be surprised by the fact that I'm small.
Anyway. Small. Short - petite even, though I've never been especially comfortable with petite.
When I was a little girl all I wanted (well, all I wanted that I couldn't have) was a pair of slip-on shoes. I wanted what we now call ballet flats. I wanted them desperately and could not have them because my feet were too small.
Of course, I remember it as several years that I was denied this sophisticated pleasure but it may not have been so long.
I remember going to the shoe store with my parents, for school shoes, in August, falling in love with black patent leather ballet flats, waiting patiently for the salesman to measure my feet and being heartbroken when I learned that my feet were too little - that, once again, I would have to have shoes with a strap. I distinctly remember thinking, saying, that maybe when I was in second grade or third grade that I might be big enough.
I must have been only five or six years old.
I should ask my mom about it - see if she remembers it, but the sting of it seems so fresh to me that I don't think about it. I hadn't thought about it for scores of years but the past few years I have fallen for men's shoes and discovered that my feet are too small to buy them and this has refreshed the sting of this childhood injustice.
Now that I am, in fact, grown up, someone will exclaim that my feet are tiny once or twice a week - most recently one of the ladies I admire most at work has mentioned it. She's tall and thin and charming and adorable and seems to feel slightly awkward about her long arms and thin legs and narrow long feet, and yet, when I look at her I think she is perfection. I've always wanted long thin arms and legs and feet.
Yes.
Feet that fit into what I must have perceived, at five or six, were grown-up shoes.
My tall, slim friend showed me this link today.
It's a good place to browse and pretend we all fit into grown-up shoes.

but these lads have nothing, this is their parade

notes from the commute

Who did we see this morning?
Well, I'll tell you - it was a busy, busy commute!
Much to see, much to tell.
As soon as we hit the city, me and K, K and me, we saw:

An adorable couple in brightly colored clothing and white hats! The white hats were a tip-off that they were tourists - well, that and the fact that they kept checking a map. She was tiny and wore a track suit and had a souvenir tote bag. He was nearly as tiny and wore lime green pants, those funny sandal/sneaker shoes, a white ball cap (with a pony tail pulled through the back), several beaded bracelets and a Members Only jacket. They were not young and held hands while they waited for the train.

I didn't have long to stare at them as a Philip Seymour Hoffman look-alike walked past us. I looked up at K and mouthed, just as he was saying: look! it's Philip Seymour Hoffman!

Just then, a twin Tilda Swinton, sauntered nearby. Morning, Tilda, we said together.

As the train arrived, Helen Mirren, who was standing next to me, asked if it was going downtown. Helen was busy checking a map too.
Clearly, it was visitor's day.

We boarded the downtown train, stepped to the rear of the car and glanced around at our fellow commuters.
To my left: one of the guys from Flight Of The Conchords. I gestured subtly to K, indicating his excellent sideburnage.
On my right: a woman of a certain age - spectacles on the end of her nose, hair pulled into a tight bun, with a particularly disdainful expression on her face as she read a romance novel.

It was nearly too much for me to take in all at once.
Fortunately, I had some paper in my bag and was able to jot some quick notes.

Now I just need to remember to bring the "paper" back to my office as it was a doctor's bill that was sent to the wrong insurance company.
I'll need to make some phone calls tomorrow.

Anthropologie, my quirky friend*

How will I wear it?
How will I wear it?
Oh, Anthro, you don't know me very well, do you?

This dress/skirt/cover-up is exactly the type of garment, one would agree, appears to be quite versatile.
Look! She's wearing it as a dress and another dress and a third dress and a skirt! Why, heck, I'll bet it can be a poncho and a veil as well!

Let's look closer, shall we?



Here it is without the benefit of a human body underneath it. In this incarnation it seems almost reasonable...save for the fact that very, very few women can pull off strapless AND open in the cleavage area. Hence, in its simplest form, I cannot wear it.
But there are many other options:



Sadly, I'm pretty sure this version would have a sort of water balloon effect on my bust-line. (If you work with me and are reading this, please, click away now, it's only going to get worse.)

This option:


is not flattering on the rail-thin, flat-chested model. In my mind, one should wear this without a bathing suit underneath it (if one has the figure and nerve for it) or not at all. If a lady (and I may have to use that term loosely) is going to wear a plunging neckline, she should go for it. The bra/bikini top is a cop-out. Listen to me. I know. I know, but I won't be wearing it.



What the hell is this? I'm sorry. That's all I can muster for this version. How long did it take them to seek out and twist the fabric into one asymmetrical strap? Why? Why would I wear it this way? Who could wear it this way with a straight face? I'll tell you who: a character in Star Trek, that's who.



I'm guessing it would drag on the floor as a skirt.



And why doesn't she have a top on?

At $68.00 it's not badly priced if, in fact, one could do all those things with it.
I'm pretty talented at tying a scarf - but I think this, uh, dress, would prove to be challenging. (I know you appreciate my use of itals.)

It's okay.
Anthropologie has plenty of other things to spend money on.



What? You can't see yourself in a jersey romper?
COME ON....























*A very long time ago a particular internet friend of mine did an absolutely unforgettable post on Anthropologie. I've asked her to re-post it, but, so far, no luck!

Survivor, THE FINALE

Full of cake.
Sitting between mine mother and brother (a special guest star!).

We can tell from the opening credits that it's going to be a long episode.
Monkeys leaping!
People with weight to lose.
The real game was "back in camp."
Coach vs. Brendan.
Erinn as an outsider.
Timbira did well - but Jalapao did well too.
The metaphors begin.
Backstory, back story....AN IM FROM MY BROTHER WHO IS SITTING NEXT TO ME!
Each player has their story - but WHO WILL BE THE SOLE SURVIVOR?

Night 36. The team return to camp. JT explains things. What? Stephen has lapsed into a dialect I can't understand. He's loyal to JT but to himself too.

K is morally opposed to the intervention shopping commercial. Okay?

Back to the finale: nope - it's a NCIS commercial!

Okay - for reals...final four. Taj, JT, Stephen and Erinn. Finally, there are subtitles for some of what JT says.
Taj and Stephen have a chat.
JT and Erinn pick up the mail.
Erinn is the last Timbira. My brother doesn't even KNOW who she is.
It's a spider challenge.
Erinn knows she needs to win.

Oooh, it's a big spider. Web-thing. With a net. Race through a tarantula shaped obstacle course for puzzle pieces and then solve the puzzle. Our brother is hoping real tarantulas are involved...but, no.
JT is ahead.
But he and Taj meet in a net tunnel...the music builds.
JT starts working on the puzzle.
They all start working on their puzzles.
Stephen: good with numbers, good with puzzles?
Erinn is doing well.
Taj is falling behind.
Erinn is ahead with JT.
JT wins!
Someone is going home!
Erinn was so close, and so could be sent home.

As they return to camp it seems obvious to ME that Erinn will go home leaving Taj, Stephen and JT as the final three, but Taj seems confident.
Erinn wants to plead her case but isn't sure what to say.
She talks about what a good player Taj is - Taj, she says, could easily win the game with the jury. Everyone likes Taj.
JT and Stephen chat after Erinn leaves.
They seem tight - but Stephen considers what to do - does he betray Taj? Would he lose against Taj?
The boys go to talk with Taj, but we get no real insight as to how they will vote.

At Tribal Coach doesn't look much better.
Jeff wants to talk about tribes and how this happened.
Erinn knows she is vulnerable but Jeff wants to talk about how the jury will be favorable to Erinn as they were her former tribemates.
Stephen says his vote will be based on how he does in the finals.
Taj would be very shocked if she was sent home.
Erinn would be surprised if she stayed.
There's plenty of chit chat but finally they vote.
Taj goes.
THAT SUCKS.
Taj tells us that if Erinn makes it to the end, she has her vote!

feeeeeeddrrr. (My brother let me play with his "black nylon tool" and I get some lint out of my keyboard. )

At camp: JT says that they had to get rid of Taj. Erinn says that Taj didn't seem upset. JT is wringing his brow as "Erinn is the most annoying person in the world."
She certainly won't shut up.

On the morning of day 38 Erinn says that she will take Stephen to the end. She feels like she's in a good spot - and confides in Stephen. Stephen thinks he'll have a better chance of winning if he takes Erinn to the final two. JT checks in with Stephen to make sure they are still allied.

They walk to pick up tree mail which describes how they will take THE WALK OF THE FALLEN COMRADES, which is my cue to zone out for 15 minutes.
After the stirring music and helicopter shots they move to the final immunity challenge.

The final immunity challenge requires concentration and coordination. Keep all of your balls in play with one hand tied behind your back.
Erinn is out first.
Stephen drops a ball and JT wins immunity.
Whoever he chooses will go with him to the final tribal council.

Stephen feels that a great weight has been lifted off his shoulders. He hasn't had to make a decision about who will go to the final tribal council.
JT is not so comfortable.
Erinn tells JT that the only vote she'll get from the jury is possibly from Taj.
JT asks her if Stephen would have taken her - and Erinn confirms this. (But she's lying, right?)
JT says Erinn would be the logical person to take....
According to Erinn, if JT wants to win a million dollars, he'll send Stephen home.
JT speaks with Stephen.
It seems to everyone that no matter who JT takes to the final two, he'll win.
JT talks about honesty and trust and says that his momma told him not to do anything stupid - he'll take Stephen - and win anyway.

At Tribal Erinn and Stephen explain their positions.
If JT takes Erinn, he'll win - if he takes Stephen it could be tougher.
Who will JT take?
Stephen.

JT has done "the right thing" - Erinn has nothing to be ashamed of (so says I) and two great players go to the end.

On the morning of day 39 JT and Stephen build a fire and talk about being friends for life. They've been planning this day since day two. Or three.
They prepare a wonderful breakfast and have champagne and discuss first impressions.
They don't burn the camp!
They walk to tribal council - leaving in the afternoon and arriving in the dark.

They each make their case - mom says JT was more convincing. Also, she would reward him for his loyalty.
The jury address the players.
It's rough going as we hear that Stephen might have taken Erinn to the final two and we hear how hurt Taj is.
JT and Stephen argue - who is slandering who?
JT feels like a fool...the jury looks a little stunned.

Time to vote...Jeff walks out of Tribal with the urn and into the Letterman theater.
Everyone is all cleaned up and happy looking.
The votes:
JT
JT
JT
JT
A BLOW OUT.

Thanks for reading!
I'm off to bed to watch the reunion.

15

It's Youngest's birthday today.
I've asked him to tell us 15 things. He wasn't pleased with that format. I fished around, hoping to get him to talk...

1. What size shoe do you wear?
8 1/2.
(He is the only child in my house with decent socks and, I think, his feet are sort of big.)

2. Favorite song?
The Feel Good Drag.
By Anberlim.
(He had to spell that for me and told me he was going to have to spell it for me. Watched the video, liked it! Of course, now I'll probably find out it has some obscure connection to something bad - like a cult or something....)

3. Why is 15 better than 14?
There is no reason.

4. I don't know what else to ask you...
I like ponies, I dream of world destruction...
You do?!
No. Just kidding.
Okay, what's your favorite chip?
Barbecue.

5. Let's get over the whole favorites thing, tell me some stuff.
Everyone asks me how I'm spending my birthday, so I'll tell you what I've told them: sitting on my ass playing video games. In my underwear.
I think I'll leave out the underwear part.
Oh, no. It's important. I'm not getting dressed.

6. What's your vision of an ideal spouse? nah, wait...
This isn't eharmony.

7. Do ya like flowers?
I like them okay.

8. Do you have any special talents?
I pwn many a noob?

9. Are you funny or good looking?
- I've had people tell me both.

10. Belts or suspenders.
Belts.

11. What's that you're drinking?
Mountain Dew Voltage.
Your mother lets you have that?
On special occasions. She doesn't like it.

12.What's the most fun you've had in the last week?
Going free running with friends.

13. What's your first memory?
My mother holding me in her arms near the wine rack with my grandmother and godmother looking at me...The front door was open and it was very bright.
Gosh, I'm thinking that was when we had you dedicated at church.

14. Pirates or ninjas?
NINJAS.
THERE ARE SEVEN IN THIS ROOM.

Gimme a bonus....your eyes are so black we used to think you looked like a cartoon of a baby...okay, what's your favorite thing about you?
My overall awesomeness.

what Middle's up to

Middle bought himself a DSLR.
Then he made himself a seamless backdrop.
Then he started to photograph stuff.



He really has this phone in his room.



He has this duck too.



He and Oldest have many, many Star Wars ships.
I like the way these things look in the pictures.
I like the way he lit them, but my favorite one is this one...



Of course, he still likes to play with special effects -

Survivor

Debbie went home and JT confesses that they saved Coach. He's shocked...and that means that he has some metaphors to spew and must play with his hair a lot.
He "doesn't know what's going to happen next." Who does, Coach, WHO DOES?

Have I mentioned that it has rained for 40 days and 40 nights here in Tuvalu?
It's cold too.
You just wait, though, at any moment it will be 90 degrees and incredibly humid - because THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE HERE, PEOPLE.
(I'm channeling Badger.)

The next morning Coach polls the tribe to see who's going next. Erinn? Taj? Turns out his lungs don't feel good. He's breathed a lot of smoke over the campfire and his asthma is bothering him.
HIS WHAT?
It's KICKING HIS ASS?
He hasn't said a WORD about it until now. And NOW he mentions it because he doesn't want to be sent to Exile.
This makes Stephen and JT sort of determined to do just that - to send him to Exile or send him home.

OOOOOOOhhhh! The challenge spells out Survivor in a maze. Race through the maze, build a pole, swing a sandbag, raise a flag... with your feet shackled together - for an overnight reward of a bed, a shower a feast.
Erinn, Coach and JT are ahead - with JT leading the other two.
Next they build a pole.
JT is in the lead.
He continues to lead.
JT wins easily and sends Coach. I think he says something about being noble.
Coach says he will take the monastic approach and Erinn points out that he will take the martyr approach - he's not going to make fire, eat or sleep, thereby "minimizing everyone else's experience." Harsh words - but off he goes.
JT takes Stephen with him to reward and says that Erinn has just shot herself in the foot. (But he says it with a country accent, Lord Bless His Soul.)

Taj and Erinn go back to camp. Erinn feels badly about what she said but Taj backs her up. Someone had to say SOMETHING. But Erinn is nervous that she's blown her shot by opening her mouth.

On Exile, Coach wanders around. He does his best death march while birds circle over head. He makes a little speech for us and tells us he will not eat and will commune with the Creator Of The Universe. He gets totally mystical on us and begins speaking in the third person. (And not like Bossy. Blackbird loves her some BOSSY.)

JT and Stephen are in a private plane to the retreat...JT says some stuff...they land and are whisked off to the lodge.
The boys love seeing themselves in a mirror for the first time in a month, they have showers, and go to a feast of meats!
They toast to being the final two.
They discuss taking Coach to the final three and voting Erinn out.

Sunday is the finale! And Youngest's birthday! Stay tuned!

It's day 36.
Coach is soaking.
Birds are hovering.
No sleep, no food - an incredible experience he tells us.
But he's not tired or hungry. He's focused. And he must win immunity.

Challenge time...and it would appear to be an endurance challenge.
Taj thinks he's a drama queen.
The players must brace themselves between two poles with their arms and small foot-holds.
Stephen appears to struggle early on.
They move down a notch to smaller foot-holds.
Jeff and Coach have a convo. Coach feels strong. It's mind over matter, Jeff says.
They move again and Erinn falls.
Taj looks tired.
JT has a hard time - and Stephen falls.
Taj falls.
JT and Coach - the listener and the talker (says Jeff) are left.
They talk about trust. But JT is looking for a way out.
It's a battle "against the best."
50 minutes pass.
Taj tries to talk Coach down.
He struggles.
He grimaces.
He screams.
He steps down.
JT wins.
Coach collapses. He staggers to the side, but he doesn't want medics to come and check him.
They walk off to camp, helping Coach.

Erinn is aggravated. Taj thinks Coach is full of it.
They think he had the classic excuse for failing.
Coach has some philosophical bull to explain it all.
JT reassures him and says that Erinn must go.
Stephen and JT tell Coach he's safe, but Stephen isn't sure who he's voting for.

At Tribal, Debbie looks ten years younger.
Jeff discusses what Erinn said about Coach regarding Exile.
Coach says he wasn't trying to minimize Erinn's experience and has a Mark Twain quote for us.
He always has a damn quote.
NOW he has a poem he has written for the tribe.
He recites it - Jeff glosses over it...the Jury have a little breakdown.
Everyone looks at Coach while Jeff reads the votes.
Does JT have a tear in his eye?
He just may have!
COACH GOES.

Will he have a poem during the closing credits?
Nope - and his little speech about wizards gets cut.
K says: you know what? This isn't Dungeons and Dragons.

It's a hard knock life

Not Annie Lennox.
Not Annie Hall...nothing like Annie Leibowitz...all the Annies I admire...no - not me....
After I was at work for a few hours today, I removed my fabulous Anthropologie scarf, looked down at my outfit and realized that I looked exactly like:



Little Orphan Annie. From Broadway. Which I saw with the original cast.
I amused several of my co-workers by removing said scarf and doing a little soft-shoe whilst singing.

You'd LOVE working with me.

Really.

this, my friends, is why the internet is important

Happy happy birthday to Fluid Pudding, whom I adore.

I guess it's photo week

The boys and I worked the food drive last weekend. (Actually, Oldest had a date in town with a lovely Australian artist he's been seeing, so he was excused.) And while we worked our butts off we had a wonderful time....

It's an incredibly well organized operation that runs for about five days and distributes food to dozens of food banks and relies on scores of volunteers to off-load and repack hundreds of thousands of items into more manageable bins which are then loaded onto skids. The four of us un-packed and re-packed 15 skids of canned goods and dry goods. We were filthy, sore and exhausted after our three hour shift.



We sat through a short orientation and got assigned to table 14.



Cans get packed in the bins for the bottom of the skids.



We were taking the cans FROM a five foot by five foot by five foot box at the end of our table, which MEANT: one of us had to get IN the box to get the cans from the bottom of it. We took turns.

We came across some pretty funny stuff:



Cryo-vacced rice!



Some kind of bizarro marinade!



Middle was brilliant and wore work gloves.



We got one quick break while we waited for a fork-lift to pick up one of our finished pallets and bring us some dry-goods.




Beef! With juices!



We were parked by the "white truck" and we were awfully happy to get back into the car and head home.

idiosyncratic

Props... tools... useful...black heavy-duty rubber gloves, on Middle's door.



Always on the stairs, sometimes filled with flowers, Oldest's first rain boots.

Charging somewhere, at any given time...




Oldest's boots have gotten bigger. Motocross boots. In the kitchen, by the door.



On the other side of the room there are always donuts...





and there's usually half a sheet of paper towel if you need to clean your eyeglasses.



The kitchen radio has no antenna and needs one. The insta-read meat thermometer is working out pretty well.